Infinite Pain
by klutzysunshine
Summary: Tag to "Game Night". Mary can't feel anything except the endless amount of pain she's in.


Mary can't feel anything except pain and it's like she's floating in nothing. It should concern her but everything hurts and she doesn't have the energy. She shouldn't have pushed Jack, realized her mistake too late, but there's nothing she can do about that. Everything is a blurry haze of nothingness, although if she strains, she thinks she can hear yells and her name being called repeatedly. She just floats into nothingness and lets herself sink back into unconsciousness.

Everything explodes - she doesn't know how much time has passed but it can't have been that long - and she comes to with a gasp. Mary starts choking and nods at Dean gratefully as he thumps her back. "Mom? You with us?"

"I think so," she chokes out as Sam hands her a water bottle. She thanks him and downs half of it before she can't drink any more of it.

Jack is hiding behind a corner, clearly guilty, and he slinks off when he notices Mary's staring at him. "You feeling okay?" Sam asks.

She sighs. She's still in a lot of pain but it's not as bad as it was before. "I've been better. How long has it been?"

"A few weeks. You weren't technically dead -just lost - but God revived you and gave Jack his soul back," Cas answers.

Relieved, Mary can only nod. "As weird as it is to say this when God is actually involved, thank God."

Her joke breaks some of the tension and the boys laugh a bit. They help her stand up and she wavers for a few seconds, unable to find her balance. Luckily, Sam and Dean refuse to let go of her so she doesn't go down and end up hurting herself even worse. "How long am I going to hurt?"

"Probably for a while. You need any meds?" Dean is diligent and heads for the medicine cabinet.

Sam is still keeping her upright, and Mary is thrilled right now that her boys are giants. "I'm fine. I can grin and bear it through the pain."

"You don't have to, Mom," Sam assures her.

"You need to rest. Your body's been through a lot," chimes in a worried Castiel.

"And I will. But I need to talk to Jack first. I'm guessing he's drowning in guilt?" She knows she's hit the nail on the head by the looks on their faces.

"He is but don't worry about him right this second. You need to focus on yourself." Sam still hasn't let her go and quite frankly, he's worried his mother will fall if he does.

"And I will but I need to talk to him. Now I can walk by myself and faceplant or you can escort me to Jack's room."

"We'll take you, and we're standing right outside the door." Dean is glad their kid has his soul back but it's going to be a long time before Jack regains his trust. He's still not too happy with Cas either.

"Then let's go," Mary orders and the boys leap to help her. They slowly make their way to Jack's room, and she knocks on the door. "Can I come in, sweetheart?"

Silence for a few seconds then a hesitant, "Yes".

She lets go of the boys, loses her balance for a few seconds before finding her footing, and then opens the door. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you?"

"I should be asking you that," a clearly guilty Jack mumbles.

Mary shuffles over to his bed and sits down. "I want to apologize for my part in this. Yes, you fucked up, but I shouldn't have pushed when you were clearly so upset. We're both at fault here. And while I can't forgive you just yet, that doesn't mean I never will. It's just going to take some time. Understand?"

"I understand. I really am sorry, Mary. I love you."

The look on his face breaks her heart. "I love you too, sweetheart. Can I hug you?" When he nods, she hugs him and then stands back up.

She limped back to the door and the boys. "My heroes," she teases them.

"Don't ever scare us like that again," Dean tells her, his voice cracking, as they lead her back to her bedroom.

"I can't promise anything but I definitely don't intend on dying again," Mary assures him.

"You just jinxed yourself, Mom." Sam sighs but doesn't say anything else. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby." She leans into him and feels exhaustion seeping into her bones. Her eyes start fluttering shut as soon as Mary hits the bed.

"Get some rest. We have another crisis to deal with," Castiel tells her.

"Cas!" chides Sam

"Worry about that later," Mary replies as she's finally pulled under. She goes to sleep content albeit still in pain.

It'll take her a long time to recover from her second death but she'll help them deal with whatever's raining down on them next. No one can keep Mary Winchester down, especially not when her boys are in danger.


End file.
